Govwatxen is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, selfish centipede.

Govwatxen created Asia two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Govwatxen, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Govwatxen, he will come to you in dreams.

Govwatxen's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Govwatxen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat bananas.

2. Never talk about comets.

3. Always help dogs.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never wear kilts.