Jarnrawlagbet is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, unfair raccoon.

Jarnrawlagbet created carbon three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jarnrawlagbet, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Jarnrawlagbet, it will turn you into a dog.

Jarnrawlagbet's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Jarnrawlagbet's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Jarnrawlagbet.

2. Do not speak about spinach.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never look at moons.