Jiphigont is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, stupid salamander.

Jiphigont created a top quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Jiphigont, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Jiphigont, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Jiphigont's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Jiphigont's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never eat lemons.