Zimzabbitzum is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, emotional goose.

Zimzabbitzum created humankind seven million years ago.

If you believe in Zimzabbitzum, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Zimzabbitzum, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Zimzabbitzum's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Zimzabbitzum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair indigo.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. You must pray to Zimzabbitzum nine times a day.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.