Futfummip is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, charitable duck.

Futfummip created gold five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Futfummip, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Futfummip, he will make you grow a tail.

Futfummip's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Futfummip's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from pink horses, for they are unholy.

2. Never hurt squirrels.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Always obey Futfummip's priests.