Targtargspagcan is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, impressive rhinoceros.

Targtargspagcan created the Andromeda Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Targtargspagcan, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Targtargspagcan, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Targtargspagcan's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Targtargspagcan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not speak about cherries.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Put Targtargspagcan first in all things.

5. Never eat bark.