Barnbisshim is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, compassionate dragon.

Barnbisshim created Europe nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Barnbisshim, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Barnbisshim, it will turn you into a goat.

Barnbisshim's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Barnbisshim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill eagles.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate swans.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Do not make images of living things.