Targgarcemquagdum Logbosswad is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, merciless capybara.

Targgarcemquagdum Logbosswad created a strange quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Targgarcemquagdum Logbosswad, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Targgarcemquagdum Logbosswad, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Targgarcemquagdum Logbosswad's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Targgarcemquagdum Logbosswad's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never write about black holes.

3. Never paint your arms turquoise.

4. Never sing in the presence of swans.

5. Never talk about gravity.