Wotfonsas is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, amazing mole.

Wotfonsas created carbon two million years ago.

If you believe in Wotfonsas, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Wotfonsas, he will have a low opinion of you.

Wotfonsas' most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Wotfonsas' Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate dolphins.

2. Do not wear gold on your body.

3. Never run near pigs.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.