Flapviljin is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, quiet squirrel.

Flapviljin created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flapviljin, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Flapviljin, it will not invite you to parties.

Flapviljin's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Flapviljin's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Flapviljin.

2. Never jump in the presence of sharks.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never write about planets.

5. Never feed cucumbers to turtles while wearing yellow trousers.