Kambutfidsawxucfedpom is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, unjust meerkat.

Kambutfidsawxucfedpom created water four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kambutfidsawxucfedpom, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kambutfidsawxucfedpom, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Kambutfidsawxucfedpom's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Kambutfidsawxucfedpom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not laugh in public.

2. Do not wear silicon on your body.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Hide if six ducks approach from the north.