Megfon is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, vain aardvark.

Megfon created gold three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Megfon, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Megfon, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Megfon's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Megfon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Never feed strawberries to foxes while wearing turquoise shoes.

3. Never think about nebulae.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never go into mauve rooms.