Fidafstergepmil is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, prudent grasshopper.

Fidafstergepmil created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fidafstergepmil, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fidafstergepmil, he will turn you into a rat.

Fidafstergepmil's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Fidafstergepmil's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Put Fidafstergepmil first in all things.

3. Hide if four grasshopers approach from the east.

4. Never mention bats.

5. Never jump near dogs.