Habyamgil is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, dishonourable mink.

Habyamgil created light three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Habyamgil, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Habyamgil, he will jump up and down on your head.

Habyamgil's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Habyamgil's Holy Commandments

1. Geese are not to be trusted.

2. Worship no other gods but Habyamgil.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Run away from mauve snails, for they are unholy.