Jonripflis is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, contented dragonfly.

Jonripflis created Europe three million years ago.

If you believe in Jonripflis, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Jonripflis, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Jonripflis' most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Jonripflis' Holy Commandments

1. Jonripflis must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate grasshopers.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Pray towards the east.