Gemgigdon is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, cheerful bear.

Gemgigdon created oxygen two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gemgigdon, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gemgigdon, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Gemgigdon's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Gemgigdon's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Gemgigdon on top of all buildings.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Always wear gray.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gemgigdon.