Tailortcun is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, tiresome meerkat.

Tailortcun created energy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tailortcun, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Tailortcun, he will turn you into a rat.

Tailortcun's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Tailortcun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Put Tailortcun first in all things.

4. Never think about cell theory.

5. Never pour water over plants.