Jabbondut is a god.

It takes the form of a large, narcissistic hippopotamus.

Jabbondut created viruses eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jabbondut, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Jabbondut, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Jabbondut's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Jabbondut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Jabbondut's name in vain.

2. Always help sick goats.

3. Do not kill birds.

4. Never feed peas to voles while wearing red jumpers.

5. Worship no other gods but Jabbondut.