Kimnellham Capxucvadnakfatbuncub Quimdabyog is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, narcissistic jaguar.

Kimnellham Capxucvadnakfatbuncub Quimdabyog created the planet Earth eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kimnellham Capxucvadnakfatbuncub Quimdabyog, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Kimnellham Capxucvadnakfatbuncub Quimdabyog, he will curse you with boils.

Kimnellham Capxucvadnakfatbuncub Quimdabyog's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Kimnellham Capxucvadnakfatbuncub Quimdabyog's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Always help horses in need.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never talk about nebulae.

5. Do not kill moths.