Arpfligpid is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, emotional warg.

Arpfligpid created life eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arpfligpid, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Arpfligpid, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Arpfligpid's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Arpfligpid's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Hide if seven eagles approach from the north.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never look at planets.