Wonzaggep is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, astonishing manatee.

Wonzaggep created parasitic wasps eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wonzaggep, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Wonzaggep, he will cry a lot.

Wonzaggep's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Wonzaggep's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from green shrews for they are unholy.

2. Wonzaggep loves geese, so they must be honoured.

3. Never write about nebulae.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate foxes.

5. Wonzaggep loves tortoises, so they must be respected.