Tinflatbarn is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, resourceful faun.

Tinflatbarn created the planet Saturn three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tinflatbarn, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tinflatbarn, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Tinflatbarn's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Tinflatbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine platinum sculptures of Tinflatbarn on top of important buildings.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never talk about black holes.

4. Always help sick mice.

5. Do not jump in public.