Xengunlak is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, intelligent wombat.

Xengunlak created Mount Everest eight million years ago.

If you believe in Xengunlak, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Xengunlak, she will try to impress you with trees.

Xengunlak's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Xengunlak's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from blue goats, for they are unholy.

2. Never paint your neck purple.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate voles.

4. Retreat if four bats approach from the east.

5. Do not laugh in public.