Jenbafpark is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, unjust cat.

Jenbafpark created tapeworms two billion years ago.

If you believe in Jenbafpark, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Jenbafpark, she will send minions to preach to you.

Jenbafpark's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Jenbafpark's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Always obey Jenbafpark's priests.

3. Never feed spinach to cats while wearing blue trousers.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.