Dubjinbeg is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, selfish armadillo.

Dubjinbeg created a top quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dubjinbeg, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dubjinbeg, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Dubjinbeg's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Dubjinbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your hands.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dubjinbeg.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Feed all hungry voles.