Rutdanpad is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, unsympathetic weasel.

Rutdanpad created dark energy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rutdanpad, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Rutdanpad, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Rutdanpad's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Rutdanpad's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never paint your head white.

3. Hide from mauve gulls for they are unholy.

4. Never write about stars.

5. Do not drink water in purple rooms.