Sitfidtarpdog is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, blissful badger.

Sitfidtarpdog created dark matter seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sitfidtarpdog, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Sitfidtarpdog, he will come to you in dreams.

Sitfidtarpdog's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Sitfidtarpdog's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Sitfidtarpdog nine times a day.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate mice.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.