Stansterbed is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, resourceful swallow.

Stansterbed created an up quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Stansterbed, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Stansterbed, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Stansterbed's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Stansterbed's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear dresses.

2. You must pray to Stansterbed seven times a day.

3. Worship no other gods but Stansterbed.

4. Do not kill shrews.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Stansterbed.