Nurcimpib is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, egotistical cobra.

Nurcimpib created energy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurcimpib, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nurcimpib, it will turn you into a duck.

Nurcimpib's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Nurcimpib's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Do not wear indigo clothing.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.