Bastmingam is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, irritating jackal.

Bastmingam created the Andromeda Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bastmingam, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bastmingam, he will destroy your home solar system.

Bastmingam's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Bastmingam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never think about gravity.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never paint your hands mauve.

5. Do not hurt snakes.