Cubcengod is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, bad-tempered armadillo.

Cubcengod created a quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cubcengod, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Cubcengod, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Cubcengod's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Cubcengod's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not shave your face.

3. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Cubcengod on top of all buildings.

4. Cubcengod must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.