Ganloopaf is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, witless parrot.

Ganloopaf created a bottom quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Ganloopaf, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Ganloopaf, he will turn you into a mouse.

Ganloopaf's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Ganloopaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always look after injured gulls.

3. Always wear green.

4. Always help sick sharks.

5. Do not skip in public.