Parkgunart is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, all-knowing tortoise.

Parkgunart created vertebrates four years ago.

If you believe in Parkgunart, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Parkgunart, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Parkgunart's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Parkgunart's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at nebulae.

2. Never write about stars.

3. Frogs are not to be trusted.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Respect your elders.