Bodparkbodvonpagzan is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, awesome hyena.

Bodparkbodvonpagzan created a bottom quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bodparkbodvonpagzan, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bodparkbodvonpagzan, she will make you grow a tail.

Bodparkbodvonpagzan's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Bodparkbodvonpagzan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Always wear fawn.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.