Mipwadkik is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, intelligent spider.

Mipwadkik created carbon seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mipwadkik, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Mipwadkik, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Mipwadkik's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Mipwadkik's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate geese.

2. Do not dye your hair green.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not drink alcohol.