Banbopnab is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, generous seal.

Banbopnab created a top quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Banbopnab, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Banbopnab, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Banbopnab's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Banbopnab's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Banbopnab.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never skip in the presence of porpoises.

5. Do not cook food in pots.