Hasgomwap is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, merciless tapir.

Hasgomwap created an atom seven million years ago.

If you believe in Hasgomwap, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Hasgomwap, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Hasgomwap's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Hasgomwap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Hasgomwap's name in vain.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Feed all hungry sharks.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.