Tettigidgum is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, staggering deer.

Tettigidgum created the Sun four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tettigidgum, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tettigidgum, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Tettigidgum's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Tettigidgum's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Ants are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never think ill of sick doves.

5. Always treat shrews with great respect.