Gumboprill is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, boastful shrew.

Gumboprill created Asia six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gumboprill, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gumboprill, he will turn you into a plant.

Gumboprill's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Gumboprill's Holy Commandments

1. Put Gumboprill first in all things.

2. Squirrels are not to be trusted.

3. Hide if three porpoises approach from the west.

4. Always help horses.

5. Always stare at clouds.