Jabflatlag is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, strong warg.

Jabflatlag created a photon two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jabflatlag, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Jabflatlag, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Jabflatlag's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Jabflatlag's Holy Commandments

1. Goats are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.