Gilhonjam is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, tranquil dog.

Gilhonjam created life three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gilhonjam, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gilhonjam, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Gilhonjam's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Gilhonjam's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always make sure there are no moths in a room before entering it.

3. Always help sharks in need.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Respect your elders.