Sasquaflan is a god.

She takes the form of a large, witless rat.

Sasquaflan created humankind four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sasquaflan, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Sasquaflan, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Sasquaflan's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Sasquaflan's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat oranges.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never eat bark.