Ditkendam is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, fussy owl.

Ditkendam created bats nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ditkendam, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Ditkendam, it will turn you into a puffin.

Ditkendam's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Ditkendam's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from cyan mites, for they are unholy.

2. Always treat great tits with great respect.

3. Never think about amino acids.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.