Cencutjip is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, dishonest monkey.

Cencutjip created viruses three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cencutjip, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Cencutjip, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Cencutjip's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Cencutjip's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never sit near dogs.

3. Cencutjip loves gulls, so they must be honoured.

4. Run away if eight capybaras approach from the south.

5. Never wear violet scarves.