Shavjatpak is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, contented lobster.

Shavjatpak created the Milkyway six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Shavjatpak, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Shavjatpak, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Shavjatpak's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Shavjatpak's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Shavjatpak's priests.

2. Erect nine silicon sculptures of Shavjatpak on top of important buildings.

3. Run away from turquoise porpoises, for they are unholy.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Retreat if six hamsters approach from the south.