Hitbarnwiptargbodsiddap is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, ill-tempered parrot.

Hitbarnwiptargbodsiddap created a strange quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hitbarnwiptargbodsiddap, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hitbarnwiptargbodsiddap, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Hitbarnwiptargbodsiddap's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Hitbarnwiptargbodsiddap's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat cherries.

2. Never go into cyan rooms.

3. You must never eat carrots.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Always take life seriously.