Watvagnel Vidmifteen is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, omnipotent zebra.

Watvagnel Vidmifteen created the solar system four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Watvagnel Vidmifteen, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Watvagnel Vidmifteen, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Watvagnel Vidmifteen's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Watvagnel Vidmifteen's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat aubergines.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. You must pray to Watvagnel Vidmifteen four times a day.

4. Always treat sheep with great respect.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.