Biffenhap is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, irritating troll.

Biffenhap created a top quark four years ago.

If you believe in Biffenhap, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Biffenhap, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Biffenhap's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Biffenhap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never think about nebulae.

4. Never run in the presence of otters.

5. Never hurt dogs.