Gomgamstanhog Kaprownutt is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, pitiless dove.

Gomgamstanhog Kaprownutt created the planet Saturn four million years ago.

If you believe in Gomgamstanhog Kaprownutt, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Gomgamstanhog Kaprownutt, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Gomgamstanhog Kaprownutt's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Gomgamstanhog Kaprownutt's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not shave your legs.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.