Jadjatbig Bemfembum is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, overgenerous elephant.

Jadjatbig Bemfembum created the planet Jupiter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jadjatbig Bemfembum, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Jadjatbig Bemfembum, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Jadjatbig Bemfembum's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Jadjatbig Bemfembum's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Hide from purple seals for they are unholy.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate nematodes.

5. Erect seven silver sculptures of Jadjatbig Bemfembum on top of important buildings.